1 year ago

It was one year ago that we met Harper for the first time.  The little girl in 5 layers of clothing didn't know us, but she was the missing piece to our family.

I've been looking back over the blog from that day  we met her, and my heart just breaks.   It was such a great day for us, but for her, I see the sadness in her eyes.  The sadness that I somehow missed - or just did not want to remember.  There was so much going on that day..... in the office building where we were, and in my own thoughts, that I guess I did not really see what  I see now.

I see the little girl we picked up that day, and she's scared.  She was being handed over to people she didn't know AND to people who didn't look like anyone she had seen before.    She was scared, but she didn't cry.  Just a whimper came out.  A whimper so sad, you wanted to cry for her.

I see the eyes of the little girl we picked up that day, and they lack the joy that every 2 year old should have.

It's these  pictures that make my heart hurt because that's what I see the most....  her eyes.

It makes me sad that I wasn't there for her in her first 2 years of her life, and that she had to go through all that she's gone through.... without a family.
I was filling out paperwork for one of her doctor appointments, and they asked all the normal questions you would expect.  In fact, I had answered these 'normal' questions before when I filled out the exact paperwork when our boys were little.

Only this time, most of the answers were blank.

I don't know how much she weighed at birth.

I don't know if she was full term, or was born early.

I don't know when she began to babble,  or when she first sat unassisted, crawled, or walked.

I.  don't.  know.

That sucks.


Just when I was feeling so sorry for her and feeling that she didn't know love before we got her,  God proves me wrong..... through facebook of all things!

I was scrolling though Facebook a couple of days ago, actually on the 1st anniversary of her Gotcha Day (and shortly after I started this post), and a friend had 'liked' Love Without Boundaries page.  Love Without Boundaries is who performed Harper's first cleft repair surgery, so I decided to 'like' the page as well.

I noticed they had posted pictures of kids they are helping currently, so I wondered if Harper had ever made the page.  I scrolled, and scrolled... and scrolled some more until I came to about the time she would have been there, July of 2011.  I thought it might be a long shot since I'm sure they help SO many babies and children, but I kept scrolling.

And then I found this......

It's Harper!!  I know it's her because we have that exact same picture.  The day we got Harper, we got the ultimate gift of a little photo book someone had been keeping of her, and this same picture was in there.  This picture is of her and foster mom.  

Oh my goodness!!!!  There she was!  I screamed and Scott and the boys came running to see what I was looking at.  We were all staring at it in shock!  Love Without Boundaries gives all their babies/children western names to protect their identity, so her name was Shayna.  That was the first time we had ever heard that.  

The picture of her and her foster mom was when she 'graduated' from her Cleft Healing Home into foster care.  Since that was when she was leaving the program, I wondered if there might be other pictures of when she first came to Love Without Boundaries....

And I find these!!!!!!

WHAT?!?!!?  

You could imagine our JOY when we saw pictures of her as a baby.  We have some pictures of her as a baby in the little photo book we were given, but not these pictures! 

The one that jumped out at me was the one of her during tummy time.  She's smiling and looking like any 6 month old would.

Then it hit me.

She WAS loved.  

She was loved when she was chosen for surgery through Love Without Boundaries.  She was also loved by the doctors that performed her surgery.

She was loved by the nannies at the Cleft Healing Home.

And, she was loved by her foster mom.  

God showed me this right when I needed it.  As always, His timing is perfect.  

I contacted Love Without Boundaries and told them "Shayna" was now Harper, and she was ours.  They told me I could get the records and pictures they had on her, and of course I jumped on it.  I cannot wait to see what information they may have that we don't know.

It won't have her birth weight in that information, we'll never know that, but we have SO much more information on her that most do not have on their adopted children.

For that, I am beyond grateful.  

Spring Break

This year for Spring Break, we just stayed home.  A bit of a stay-cation you could say.

We did go to the big hopping town of Corsicana for a few days with friends at the beginning of the break.   The friends we went with, have a cabin just outside Corsicana.  It's a boys paradise!  There are almost 1,000 acres to roam, a pond to fish in, and perfect places to shoot bb guns.  Of course, the girls had just as much fun.  And for this girl, the best thing was the cabin!  No tent required.


First things first.... the boys - mainly dads - could not wait to set up the targets for the bb guns.  It's a bit redneck, don't you think?  Nothing screams redneck more than duct tape and beer cans.....

After the target set up, we made sure to put all the kids through a refresher course on gun safety.....

and made sure they all had on safety glasses.

Then..... it was time to start shooting!

The kids were nice enough to let the parents have a turn.

This was Harper's first time at the cabin, and like every other new experience, she took it all in stride.  Even riding a scooter - quite well - for the first time!

What I love about going to the cabin, is that it is so relaxed.  Everyone just kind of does their own thing.  The boys love it because they get a bit of freedom and roam around the place without us hovering over them.  The only time we hovered, and I freaked a little, was when a bull was close by.  The boys didn't seem to care, after all, as they said.... they had their walking sticks to protect them.   Riiight.  

reminds me a little of the movie Stand By Me

Harper loved to fish.... even though
 the fish weren't biting.  

A yearly picture.... by the giant cactus

Even the dogs had a great time.... leashes not required!

Harper is very perceptive when it comes to the first letter of her name.  She immediately noticed this huge "H" at one corner of the ranch.

This group is made mainly up boys, and until Harper came along, just one girl, Ava.   Ava, or Ahva as Harper calls her, is so sweet to Harper and really looks after her.  Harper adores her!

Harper found a lifelong friend in Ava when she helped Harper get snacks.   Food is definitely one of Harper's love languages!  

 Speaking of food.... Harper was in HEAVEN while we were there.  There were so many snacks we normally don't have around the house.  She was not above acting cute to get what she wanted.  haha!

She made another best friend when Julie
gave her a cookie.... with icing!

Definite detox happened once we did get back home.  It was not pretty.

Nothing more this girl needs
than a bag of Cheetos and her Elmo.

Of course Elmo made the trip with us to the cabin.  He is a well traveled Elmo.  Harper carried him all over the ranch, so much so that  I was nervous that she would lose him somewhere on the property and not be able to find him.  She has other Elmo's, but when we try and give them to her, she says, "Not THAT Elmo".

Crazy kid.

Anyway, one of the many times to visit "her" H at the ranch, she sat next to a tree for a bit and I got this...

Seriuosly..... we are screwed if this Elmo is ever lost.  She loves him beyond words.  

After three days at the ranch, we all headed home to continue our spring break.   We did so much in those 3 short days, we totally wore Harper out.

 We didn't do much for the rest of the week.  It was kind of nice to have much needed down time, but I was a little sad we didn't go anywhere.    That will have to change next year!


Anyway, since the weather was nice, we took advantage of the park and went to hit some golf balls.

Most of the week though, we just lounged around in our p.j.'s until we had to go somewhere.... it was SO nice!

Spring Break this year, reminds me of our Spring Break last year.  On this date last year, we were in flight on our way to China.  We were probably just now reaching Canada at this point, but we were inching closer to meeting the girl that would change our lives.  

One picture from this Spring Break, reminds me of a couple from last spring break.....

Hard to believe her 1st anniversary of Gotcha Day is right around the corner!

Birthday, Part 2

For Harper's birthday gift, we thought we would take her to see her most favorite muppet on the planet.... Elmo.

We ordered tickets for her first ever concert, Sesame Street Live.  I thought we were done with kids concerts after the last one we had seen years ago..... The Wiggles.  We had taken Brannen to see the Wiggles with some friends when he was barely two.  Of course, he doesn't remember it a bit, but unfortunately, I do.

It seriously is my idea of hell.

But, here we are again, paying to sit through such torture.  Scott and Brannen were lucky enough not able to go because they were away at youth camp with our church.   Griffin was the unlucky lucky one and got to go along since no one else would be home.  My niece, who's two, and sister.n.law went along as well since they were in town for Harper's birthday.  If there is anyone who loves Elmo just as much as Harper, it's my niece.  We also drug along my mom because, well, we thought she should get to have fun right along with us!

Anyway, we were off to see Elmo, and Harper took the ground running once we made it to the parking lot....

We got there a little early, so we took in the sights of Sesame Street....

...and of course, there was a ton of merchandise calling their name.  Luckily, we got out of there with just a little soccer ball, and cotton candy for Harper and shaved ice for Grififn.

Griff sure was a good sport!

The girls still really didn't know what to expect.  We got to our seats and they saw the stage.....

 but it didn't really hit them until the characters started coming out on stage......

Of course they added a little suspense, and had Elmo be the last character to take the stage.  I had planned on videoing Harper's reaction when she saw him in person, but we were warned repeatedly that we were not allowed to take video.... not even of our kids.  My rebellious side thought about doing it for a second, but then realized it probably wouldn't look good to my kids if they had to bail me out of jail.  

Anyway, I really wish I would have gone with my rebellious side.  When Harper saw Elmo, she screamed at the top. of. her. lungs!!!   It was like the ear piercing screams the Beatles heard when they  first landed in the states.   That moment was worth all the hell we would sit through for the next hour and a half.    

Selfie of us right after she saw Elmo

She was so in awe, she tried to climb over me.  I asked what she was doing and she said, "I need to see Elmo".  She was about to rush the stage!  It was pretty hilarious.

I got her to sit back down, and she pulled out her own Elmo to show the Elmo on stage.  It was such a cute moment.

The ultimate mind blowing experience for Harper was when Elmo and Abby were on stage together by themselves...... her two favorite Sesame Street characters.

speechless at seeing their 'friends' on stage.

Sesame Street Live came to an end (darn) and we filed out of the theater.  We got in our car and Harper was out like a light before we even turned out of the parking lot.  I'm sure she won't remember anything about it by her next birthday.  Shoot, she may forget about it by next month, but that's ok.  She had pure joy in that moment of  seeing her beloved Elmo for the first time, and that was worth it to me.